[Peter is also not leaving Tony out of solidarity, but boy he wants to. If Tony tries to run and leave him alone with this, he's beating him out the door.]

Do I look like someone that knows how to handle kids?

[Even dressed in new clothes, Peter has a sort of sad sack, old man energy about him, like he spends a significant portion of his day dedicated to deep thought about new places to dig for change in his apartment to buy bus tokens.]

[A child comes at him with sticky fingers, grasping, and Peter actually hops away, landing in a crouch on the teacher's desk at the front. He stays crouched there in a way that would be unnatural for some, looking perfectly comfortable while doing it, cringing away from sticky hands.]

The most I've managed is not causing a teenager to jack-knife off the natural coast he was making towards personal growth, and he was already on cruise control. I didn't even really contribute much to said personal growth. I just managed to avoid screwing it up.

[He holds a hand to his chest.]

And I'm very proud of it. I personally think it was one of my best moments.